Every morning, I wonder what my parents will be like today. My biggest challenge is having enough patience to care for my parents. Life as a caregiver is the hardest job I have ever had.
Mom and Dad make leis with pakalana blossoms from our yard.
I started this post last night while lying in bed after my dad woke me up at 2am. I heard someone in the kitchen moving around, and I got up to see who it was. I expect to see my mom as her dementia has been fussing with her internal clock, and she wakes up at all hours in the early morning. But instead, I found my dad in a state. He asked me what was going on. I didn’t understand what he was talking about. He said why did I wake him up. I told him I didn’t do that. I was sleeping. I take it he didn’t believe me and went back to his room mad at me.
Well, this just added to my bad mom day, and going back to sleep took a while. I tried to compose this post in my head but refused to get up and start writing on my computer.
Besides composing my post in my head, I started to think about how things are probably changing in my life. I think my parents (my mom, for sure) are entering a new phase of dementia. Mom has changed at a rapid speed, and I think she is now in the middle stage. My dad has been stable for quite a while, but I think Mom’s changes have stressed my dad to have this episode last night.
I have appointments for my parent to join an adult daycare group two days a week. I hope it’s not too late for my mom. My hope was the added stimulation of people and activities would help my parent’s dementia or at least slow it down. I also looked forward to having time for myself. I should stay positive that they are okay to join. It is so hard to see her change so quickly.
I’m trying to keep myself busy so I don’t get into a caregivers funk. It is really hard not to let it get to you. I’m do a lot of handwork, it some how keeps the anxiety a bay for me. I’m working on quilt #6, making a pouch for my double points, and knitting on the Noro scarf. Here’s some pictures of my progress.
Quilt #6 for a friend
Zipper pouch for my double point needles. Using a Mamo print scrap with denim for the rest of the pouch. Quilting the scap as a Hawaiian quilt patch.
I’m still working on my Noro scarf. I’m kind of feeling like it is endless. I’m aiming for the end of the year to finish it up.
I guess that’s it for now. I probably could on and on. But I’ll stop here for now. I need to run out and do some errands while the caregiver is here.
Mom came out of surgery after 4 hours. All the bad things that could have happened didn’t happen. Phew!
Mom was greeted by her two sisters and was so happy to see them. She actually was in such a great mood. Telling everyone she loved them included her ICU nurse. He was so sweet and patient with her. Mom’s care at Queen’s Hospital was great. All her ICU nurses were male and treated her so well and you know she was getting better as she flirted with all of them.
I stayed with mom for about an hour after she got out of surgery. I needed to pick up my dad from my cousin’s house. I figure she was tired and needed to sleep to get better. I also needed to get the house ready for my sister who was arriving the next day.
The crazy Japanese lady (me) drove home after a very hard 24 hours. Running very low on steam with only 3 hours of sleep over the last 48, plus a medical emergency with an ambulance trip to the ER and a transfer to the Trauma Center for emergency surgery. All I wanted to do is sleep.
As I gets closer to her house, there’s a lot of cars parked at the next door neighbor’s carport. “Hmm, I thought they moved out,” she thought. But some about it made me look towards my house and see a car blocking part of my and the other neighbor’s driveway and her mailbox.
“Crap!” I explode. “They having a party again! On a SUNDAY!”
I needed to get my dad from my cousin and get him feed by then I started relaxing and feeling sleepy. The noise wasn’t too bad and I decided only call the police if they wake her up from sleep.
Then it happened, I heard yelling, not party yelling but fighting yelling. I looks out of her window to see her neighbor (the one that the car is blocking their driveway) with three guys up in his face. Like the Incredible Hulk, I suddenly felt incredible rage and threw down what was in my hand and ran outside right into the ruckus.
“LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!’ I screamed at the top of her lungs, with no fear.
I’ve put up for last two years of awful karaoke that they amplified throughout the neighborhood. Then to have them gang up on my young neighbor, three against one. Real tough guys! What a joke and I was having none of it.
The fight was all about parking and saving parking with their rubbish can. Yes, that’s illegal but everyone on the street does it and respects it. Not these people. Between the illegally park car that was blocking our driveways and another car taking their space, my neighbor tapped the car as he was trying to get into the carport. The tough guys had to get into to it with them instead of doing normal way with exchange insurance information.
Then the crazy Japanese lady found her opening. One of the partygoers said “. . .we are not blocking your driveway”. . . .
“BUT YOU ARE BLOCKING MY DRIVEWAY. YOU BLOCK OUR DRIVEWAY ALL THE TIME. AND ON TOP OF THAT, YOU ARE THE MOST INCONSIDERATE NEIGHBORS. ALWAYS MAKING SO LOUD NOISE THAT WE CAN’T HEAR OUT TV. LATE INTO THE NIGHT. I’M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE!!!! EVERY TIME IT HAPPENS, I’M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE!!!’
Bing! Lightbulb moment. I turned around and ran into the house. I found my phone in the pile of stuff I threw down before running into the fight and ran outside to take a picture of the car blocking the driveway. By then the driver was in the car, he must have got my craziness. I jumped in front of the car to take a picture of the license plate but speeds away past me.
Don’t push a crazy Japanese menopausal lady. You never know when she had no sleep and a medical trauma happen the night before. She may turn into the Incredible Screaming Hulk. Haha.
Yes, I know I shouldn’t have done what I did. And apologies to my neighbor for getting involved. But something just went off at the moment when I saw it was him and it was an unfair fight. I really don’t know what I could have done but I like to think my craziness distracted the situation and made them back off.
And yes, I will call the police on them and whoever blocks my driveway. If they weren’t so inconsiderate to all of the neighbors maybe the situation would be different, but this is years of being inconsiderate.
My thoughts on my role as caregiving. I think my role is to help them do what they need to do and keep them comfortable and happy. I was successful at keeping mom happy as I told her the story. She laughed as scolded me to be careful with those people. My life as caregiver continues.
Princess Hot Flash 